Are you scared of your attraction to body types? Am I? Well scared is not quite fair. Disappointed or maybe bordering on ashamed.
Let me try to look back with my new, but still limited perspective on my life through schooling. I am a far more mellow human being. In my youth I feel I defined so much of my personality with vague hatred. This encompassed peers, authority figures, institutions, and my limited knowledge of the world around me. Now these things rarely excite angry passion and I have to say I sometimes miss it. It occurs to me in brief recollections: a song that transports me, a bit of old news, a name I have nearly forgotten. However naive I was I was certainly idealistic, right? I said I hated people pretending they were old and yet there are certain phony nostalgias that, as you can see, I buy. Maybe I should stay unemployed, burn my credit card, and learn to build bombs. I wonder if the FBI will ever start reading my blog... I wonder if anyone will ever read this. I'm not too concerned. Writing to myself if theraputic and this way I convince myself its a somewhat more serious endeavor. Of course I also called it masturbation so its all debateable.
I used to get mad at my school, teachers that taught me weren't cool. What if it is getting better? I have also cultivated some vague mistrust of anything pleasant. Maybe this is the essence of maturity; trading indignation for paranoia. Everyone's out to get me and I couldn't care less. That's right, that's nice
I mean I care, I care a lot. But I also think that there's nothing I can do. Okay so also apathy has matured into a right sedentary beast. Being angry only makes the individual feel bad and so maximizing personal good is worthwhile. I know this isn't true of everyone but on a personal basis I was just very duplicitous and phony and in terms of those awful institutions I walked around Washington D.C. once, once in Georgia. I don't think that activism (and I use the term broadly, calling someone on their bullshit is active and maybe just as effective as marching with a sign) has no place, I just began to view it as insular. The people we want to change don't pay attention because we don't really want to talk to them anyway. I should say I don't, its not right to speak for anyone else. Again this can be applied to governments and douchebags you might work with and shit you hear at parties. I'm starting to think its all the same. I just don't get invited to the same parties as Don Rumsfeld. Let's hope when I do I've the balls to tell him he sucks.
What's wrong with my east coast upbringing?
camera phones got me shuttering
gotta shut down these bad machines
A funny way of viewing Nicaraguan political conflict is in terms of western pop culture. The Clash made an album called Sandinista! and the NES had a game called Contra. The leftists got an inconsistant double rock album. The right-wing paramilitaries got a videogame.
Puns are not the lowest form of humor. They are like the rock opera of jokes. In both cases if done well the result can be outstanding but unfortunately they both seem to encourage misguided attempts.
In the albums of my lifetime subject I'm antagonizing over whether to add Stephen Malkmus' eponymous debut or Face the Truth. I know that putting more Malkmus may be excessive but I feel that something from the solo career must be included. It is brilliant, and also illustrious. I fear I may have put wowee zowee on as a compromise to avoid the real issue of the solo career. (I sort of fear that I agree with the popular concensus and really should have put Crooked Rain Crooked Rain, but my logic is that wowee zowee has the pop-hooks and production values of CRCR with some more of the slanted and enchanted attitude/sprawl, also it has AT&T) I have certainly taken some heat for it but I feel I am more of a solo Malkmus fan than a Pavement fan. This is certainly not to say that I do not enjoy me some Pavement. Its funny, I feel really defensive about this type of statement because I worry that I'm a less authentic fan. Its always a safe bet to like an artist's old stuff. Part of it is I got into Pavement by way of Jenny & the Ess-Dog and so in that respect I'm entirely authentic in my preference. Balls to those who would presume to know the proper chronolgy of importance by way of birthright. When does that switch? When does it go from "oh I saw them after Slanted and Enchanted" to "You shoulda been there for Tull at the Garden?"
Right now I'm leaning towards Face the Truth, but it is more recent and more in my consciousness. Kindling for the Master is my favorite song of the minute. In other up to the minute updates there's Sir Duke by Stevie Wonder and Sleep the Clock Around by Belle & Sebast. And the Coup.
Clearly I'm in a pickle somebody help me i think my vlad's gone crazy
I might be going crazy or maybe I just think its romantic to lose one's mind.
Let me try to look back with my new, but still limited perspective on my life through schooling. I am a far more mellow human being. In my youth I feel I defined so much of my personality with vague hatred. This encompassed peers, authority figures, institutions, and my limited knowledge of the world around me. Now these things rarely excite angry passion and I have to say I sometimes miss it. It occurs to me in brief recollections: a song that transports me, a bit of old news, a name I have nearly forgotten. However naive I was I was certainly idealistic, right? I said I hated people pretending they were old and yet there are certain phony nostalgias that, as you can see, I buy. Maybe I should stay unemployed, burn my credit card, and learn to build bombs. I wonder if the FBI will ever start reading my blog... I wonder if anyone will ever read this. I'm not too concerned. Writing to myself if theraputic and this way I convince myself its a somewhat more serious endeavor. Of course I also called it masturbation so its all debateable.
I used to get mad at my school, teachers that taught me weren't cool. What if it is getting better? I have also cultivated some vague mistrust of anything pleasant. Maybe this is the essence of maturity; trading indignation for paranoia. Everyone's out to get me and I couldn't care less. That's right, that's nice
I mean I care, I care a lot. But I also think that there's nothing I can do. Okay so also apathy has matured into a right sedentary beast. Being angry only makes the individual feel bad and so maximizing personal good is worthwhile. I know this isn't true of everyone but on a personal basis I was just very duplicitous and phony and in terms of those awful institutions I walked around Washington D.C. once, once in Georgia. I don't think that activism (and I use the term broadly, calling someone on their bullshit is active and maybe just as effective as marching with a sign) has no place, I just began to view it as insular. The people we want to change don't pay attention because we don't really want to talk to them anyway. I should say I don't, its not right to speak for anyone else. Again this can be applied to governments and douchebags you might work with and shit you hear at parties. I'm starting to think its all the same. I just don't get invited to the same parties as Don Rumsfeld. Let's hope when I do I've the balls to tell him he sucks.
What's wrong with my east coast upbringing?
camera phones got me shuttering
gotta shut down these bad machines
A funny way of viewing Nicaraguan political conflict is in terms of western pop culture. The Clash made an album called Sandinista! and the NES had a game called Contra. The leftists got an inconsistant double rock album. The right-wing paramilitaries got a videogame.
Puns are not the lowest form of humor. They are like the rock opera of jokes. In both cases if done well the result can be outstanding but unfortunately they both seem to encourage misguided attempts.
In the albums of my lifetime subject I'm antagonizing over whether to add Stephen Malkmus' eponymous debut or Face the Truth. I know that putting more Malkmus may be excessive but I feel that something from the solo career must be included. It is brilliant, and also illustrious. I fear I may have put wowee zowee on as a compromise to avoid the real issue of the solo career. (I sort of fear that I agree with the popular concensus and really should have put Crooked Rain Crooked Rain, but my logic is that wowee zowee has the pop-hooks and production values of CRCR with some more of the slanted and enchanted attitude/sprawl, also it has AT&T) I have certainly taken some heat for it but I feel I am more of a solo Malkmus fan than a Pavement fan. This is certainly not to say that I do not enjoy me some Pavement. Its funny, I feel really defensive about this type of statement because I worry that I'm a less authentic fan. Its always a safe bet to like an artist's old stuff. Part of it is I got into Pavement by way of Jenny & the Ess-Dog and so in that respect I'm entirely authentic in my preference. Balls to those who would presume to know the proper chronolgy of importance by way of birthright. When does that switch? When does it go from "oh I saw them after Slanted and Enchanted" to "You shoulda been there for Tull at the Garden?"
Right now I'm leaning towards Face the Truth, but it is more recent and more in my consciousness. Kindling for the Master is my favorite song of the minute. In other up to the minute updates there's Sir Duke by Stevie Wonder and Sleep the Clock Around by Belle & Sebast. And the Coup.
Clearly I'm in a pickle somebody help me i think my vlad's gone crazy
I might be going crazy or maybe I just think its romantic to lose one's mind.
posted by vw at 8:03 PM
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